It is morning, and as you sleep peacefully some distance away, I glance Binx, my tiny cat, sharing your pillow with you. You are both curled up, and silent, as you breathe.

I am I on the couch, watching Friday’s WWE Smackdown, and tuning the harp strings in my head. It is Christmas morning, and the first time I’ve ever felt Christmas cheer. Booker T exclaims Oh My Goodness! as I struggle with Microsoft Word’s autocorrect, ever more confirming and fueling my inner hatred for modern technology. It’s a love hate sensation (god I love Kenna).

Sometimes, I just want lower case. OK?

And other times I am feeling ALL CAPS.

The doctor tells me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. He instructs me to take 2000 units a day.

This is the way I used to write when I was inspired. I feel that it has returned, I am finally able to be who I am, and who I am is great. All of this of course, is bittersweet, because with every new leaf an old one is turned to the ground.

Or maybe I’m just too “goth”, and I suck the sweet away from things myself sometimes. I suppose it is possible. I fulfill some other criteria.

We live near a hospital and the sirens outside come just as I am thinking of the sound of your voice, and how it feels to be your little spoon. Thank you for always pulling me out of the shadows, and making me feel like I’m better than that. Even as you sleep, I know I am your special baby.

When I return to bed, you roll over and place your arm around my waist, pulling me to you. We spoon for the rest of the morning.

We both couldn’t understand why NORAD would waste any money tracking Santa, and finally concluded it was “just for the kids.”

Nobody could get you to smile on camera last night, and it was so frustrating and adorable. I know you have a beautiful smile, and wish I could witness it more often.

I am teaming with excitement today, as I have never felt before. My blood is rushing, and my head is swimming. I ride my own pulse like never before, and cannot wait for tomorrow.

I have so much to plan and organize, but it is all coming together. Kickstarter.com approved my project to be launched on their site. Kickstarter.com is a platform to help fund creative projects. I applied a few times, but they finally accepted my proposal. I’m thrilled.

It’s not much, but a first step. It’s been a lot of first steps lately. Some with others, some alone. Some steps away. But all very important steps. One day I’ll reach the top.